ThTh : Rejection + Parenting

It is common to be parenting from a place of inadequacy – all because of our frailty as humans.

Because of our undealt-with rejection from days gone by, we become a ‘wallflower’, hide behind the newspaper, or studiously watch TV in order to protect ourselves from more rejection. We isolate ourselves from others. Withdraw. Try to minimise our hurt that is likely in relationships.

Gladly because of God through his son Jesus Christ, we don’t have to keep living like that.  We can live lives of freedom. Free from hurts and bondage.

Dr Grant Mullen : Overcoming Rejection

Everyone has had a rejection experience. Rejection is so painful because God made us social beings – in His image. We are meant to be interdependent and interconnected. When that is not happening, we ache.

It was God’s plan that we would all have perfect families, that every child would be a wanted child, and that children would all receive unconditional love in all circumstances, that failure would never be a threat, they would never have to be afraid to be themselves in a perfect home.

Originally God’s plans were that parents would be like a mirror to reflect God’s image to the children. But in the fall of man, the mirror cracked and we have never been able to see the true nature of God in our parents.

So we have all had areas of hurt, wounding, and dysfunction, because we didn’t have these healthy, emotional models to follow and imitate.    

You get married because you think they will meet all your emotional needs. Continuous conflict of unmet expectations develops. Rejection creeps into marriages. The problem in marriage is we all bring emotional baggage into marriage. It is the clash of baggage from your own past and your family of origin that causes most marriage problems, not so much your spouse.

Most of us live on volcanoes of unhealed emotions from our childhood and we just live on the big bump. We live in a community of people all doing the same thing. But there’s an eruption button which will release your pile of unhealed childish emotions.

Satan wants to shame, humiliate, and embarrass you. The key to not having your button hit is to have your volcano removed by healing all of the emotional wounds and injuries from your childhood that your bring into marriage. So get your baggage removed first, before you get married [and have children].
When we are in pain, we withdraw and live behind fortresses. When you have been greatly wounded by any emotional trauma (we are talking about rejection this time) people choose the pain of loneliness and the pain of isolation rather than take the risk of social interaction.

God is calling us today to unload the baggage, receive healing for the wounds, get rid of the lies, and then you can stand up straight and live the abundant life of freedom that God is calling us to.

Realise that God created us different and unique. To not accept ourselves implies that God made a mistake. Jesus totally accepts us the way we are. He rescued us when we were at our worst and brought us into the Kingdom, so he is certainly not going to abandon you now that you are his child. God accepts you because of who you are, not what you do, or what you look like.

Jesus knows about rejection and was not exempt from emotional pain. He’s been there. Isaiah 53:2-5 – Jesus was the only man ever born to be wounded. We were not. It was never God’s intention that we would be born and wounded. But we were, because we live in a fallen world. Jesus came perfect, to take all of our wounds from us. He came so that we would be set free. Jesus wants you saved and transformed. This is a good deal! Change your life forever.

Videos and Articles are available from :

Overcoming Rejection

Overcoming Rejection

Have you ever felt rejected?
Why is rejection so painful?
What does rejection do to our personalities?
Is there anything we can do about it?

Join Dr. Mullen as he explains how to recognise
and recover from the wounds of rejection

More on Overcoming Rejection

A counsellor who can work with you on these issues – in Hamilton , NZ :

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