ThTh : Fear + Parenting

Fear is not overcome by dealing with the fear; it is overcome by DOING the fearful thing. You overcome fear by facing the tiger with your fear and discovering that you can walk away alive. In time you laugh at the tiger, for it was only paper. But if your child flees from the tiger, and you call it fear and then offer sympathy or protection, you legitimise the child’s fear and the paper tiger gets bigger and more threatening every day. If you treat the paper tiger with indifference, the child will feel the same. Wild animals learn what to be afraid of and what to tolerate by watching their parents. What do you want, a pitiful, weak child, cowering for comfort, or a tiger tamer? You will make the child into the image of your own responses.

Breaking the Bondage of Shyness and Fear by M.Pearl, January February 2001

“Some degree of fear is natural in parents. We love our kids so much that the thought of anything bad happening to them sends us into a panic. Yet, if we’re not careful, this caution can become oppressive. When we let fear dominate our parenting, we can actually shield our kids from the very things they need to be dealing with.”

  • Surrender Your Children to God
  • Live with Hope
  • Foster Responsibility
  • Pray, Pray, Pray

Sheila Wray Gregoire is a freelance writer in Belleville, Ontario.
Christian Parenting Today, July/August 2000, Vol. 12, No. 6, Page 51

Teaching point one: We don’t parent alone.

We commit our children to our heavenly Father, who always watches us. God is always available. Create extended families to provide more of a sense of community. Pray in local ‘grandparents’ or ‘aunties’ to care for your children. Scripture tells us he longs to hear from us. Read James 1:5. All we have to do when we are unsure about a decision is to call on the Father. He will readily disperse the wisdom we so desperately need. It’s there for the asking.

Teaching point two: God enables us to do what he requires.

At some points in our lives we can feel overwhelmed, like there is no way out and we are going under. Read 1 Samuel 17:37. When David was about to fight Goliath, he remembered how God had given him the strength he needed before, and trusted him in his current time of need.  All of us face our own Goliaths; they just look different.The most frightening things can happen to our children; no matter what we do to protect them, it is sometimes not enough. Only God is the ultimate protector. Read Isaiah 41:10.

Teaching point three: Pray without ceasing.

1 Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray continually.” We pray without ceasing to the God who never ceases to hear us.

* Read 1 Peter 5:7. God cares about what we care about: these children he has entrusted to us. Listening to our every call, God grants us wisdom to be the responsible parents he made us to be, and he tells us to call on him anytime we need him. Lovingly he meets our needs. Read Matthew 7:11. God is waiting to give to us and to bless us.

* Read Proverbs 22:6. God instructs us to train our children. He assures us that if we do, that training will somehow stay with our children. What a comfort it is to know that if we obey God, even if our children stray from the right path we have shown them, they can come back to it. We see this illustrated with the prodigal son. What a perfect picture of how God is with us. Even when we blow it, we are welcomed back into his arms. How wonderful that God our Father can show us how to parent. Even the things that were never modeled for us, God can teach us.

Anne Peterson, a regular contributor to Christian Bible Studies.

When we face the fears of the unknown, we turn to what we know. To what is true. Because that Truth sets us free from the burdens of fear.

Here is truth:
God knows everything.
He is still in control.
He is good.
He is all powerful.
He has a plan for our lives – to give us a future and a hope.
He loves us.
He will never leave us.

And this truth sets us free from our fears, no matter what circumstances we face. This truth not only comforts us; when we pass this truth on, it comforts others.

Carol Kuykendal, MOMSense Radio, March 2004.

The miracle of love takes away our fear.


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